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New Year's Resolutions

Making Your New Year's Resolutions a Reality!
By Beth Banning and Neill Gibson

 

In January it's traditional to make New Year's resolutions. You plan to go to the gym, get into great physical shape, earn more money, improve a troubled relationship, or get along better with your family members.

But you suspect that in a few days or weeks you'll get tired of making the effort and your good intentions will disappear. Would you like to improve your chances of making your resolutions stick? Keep reading this article below >>

 
 
Love
Love is Something You Do ~ A Word from Marshall
By Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.,

Founder, Director of Ed. Services, CNVC

Nonviolent Communication really grew from my attempt to understand the concept of love and how to manifest it, how to do it. I had come to the conclusion that love is not just something we feel, but it is something we manifest, something we do, something we have. And love is something we give: We give of ourselves in particular ways. Keep reading this article below >>

 
 
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Inspiration
 

"We can make life miserable or wonderful for ourselves and others depending upon how we think and communicate."

- Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

Play Video Now

Share This Inspiring 10-Minute Video With Your Social Media Friends

Go to the video now and select the "Share This" link in the right corner to post to your social media profile and share with others.

World-renowned author, peacemaker, and conflict resolution expert, Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. talks about the keys to prevent all forms of conflict and violence in this 10-minute video.

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Marshall Rosenberg NVC Quotes
for January

From our online NVC Quote Collection

 

The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.'

 

When we understand the needs that motivate our own and others behavior, we have no enemies.

 

Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.

 
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Making Resolutions a Reality! ... continued

Maybe you worry about how much effort and work is involved, or you think it isn't possible to have these things. Just like last year, you'll slip back into your old patterns. Well, there is a fun and easy way to begin to create your ideal life with little effort on your part. It starts by creating an intention.

What is intention?

Intention means knowing what you want and directing your actions toward that outcome. You might want your life to be more peaceful and harmonious. Or you might crave adventure and discovery. You can make intentions for your life as a whole, and also for any situation, relationship, or time period. Maybe you want to create more connection and trust with someone you love. Or maybe, during meetings at work, you want more support and effectiveness.

Why Create Intentions?

Creating intentions takes only a few minutes out of a day, yet it is a powerful tool you can use to set your resolutions in motion. Instead of forcing yourself to follow your self-improvement plan or worrying about how you're going to accomplish things, creating intentions removes effort and worry from the process. When you decide what you really want in your life and begin to follow a few simple steps, the things you want start to happen in a stress-free way.

How Do You Create an Intention?

Start with your New Year's Resolution. Step back from that goal and decide what qualities you want in from that goal or in that situation, then write your intention down. Use positive language and present tense. Here are some examples: "I intend to be healthy and fit," or "I intend to create a relationship of, connecting and having fun with my sister." Notice that intentions are expressed as values, or qualities of life.

You can create intentions to help you keep your resolutions about your health, your appearance, your job or finances, your possessions, your relationships, or anything else. Don't write an intention about what you don't want or use destructive or defeating language. Avoid sentences like, "I don't want to get sick."

If you know what you want to experience in some area of your life but aren't sure how to get there, you can create your values-based intention and just leave it at that. Doing so will set that intention in motion and you will then be open to opportunities for that intention to happen.

What's the Difference Between an Intention and
a Strategy?

An intention expresses the values or qualities you want to experience, while a strategy points to a specific person, action, and time to accomplish something. For example, strategies for creating more connection and fun with your sister might look like this: "Every time I see my sister, I'm going to tell her something that I enjoy about her," or, "I'm going to make a regular lunch date with my sister."

If there are specific strategies, or actions, that you know will support your intention, write them down. For example, a few months ago I wrote my intention for health and fitness, and I added these strategies: "I will visualize myself as the perfect weight for optimal health," "I will choose the exact right food to provide everything that I need," and "Every day I will exercise in ways that I enjoy."

I read my intention and strategies for my resolution every day, and something strange happened; I lost a few pounds without trying. Shopping for food and ordering in restaurants no longer brought up anxiety. I just knew what to buy and order. I'd find myself going out for an energetic walk in the evening when I used to be napping. Every day I found some way to exercise, even if it was only a 10-minute yoga break. The best thing is that I stopped forcing myself to eat a certain way or follow a strict exercise regimen. I just did it.

Can Intentions Improve Your Relationships?

Yes! Decide what qualities you'd most like to have with this person and write them down.

You can even create intentions about people who have never heard of "intention," or people who you're experiencing conflict with. You might want to include qualities that are missing for you, such as cooperation. An example might be, "I intend to create a relationship of consideration, trust, and honesty with Ron." You might notice that you start being more considerate and honest with him. You might find yourself telling him that you would like more honesty in your relationship.

Intentions work great when you create them with others. When a couple of our friends were planning their wedding the woman noticed that the man had started to get anxious about making decisions. She asked him what he would like to experience during the planning, and he said "ease." Together they came up with three qualities they wanted: ease, fun and harmony. After that, whenever things would get tense, they'd remind each other of their intention. It paved the way for a stress-free experience.

How Can You Make Your Intentions More Powerful?

What you focus your attention on grows, so if you spend a few minutes every day reading the intentions you created for your resolution out loud, they are more likely to happen. A good time might be in the morning before you get started with your day.

The more often you read your intentions, the more powerful they are. We know some people who were so impressed with the power of intention setting that they formed groups where they would meet once a week or once a month and read their intentions out loud.

If you find yourself slipping into negative thoughts, such as "This will never work," or "I'll never be able to have what I want," remind yourself gently to focus on what you do want.

Do intentions really help you turn your resolutions
into reality?

Try them out and see! Pick a few areas of your life that you would like to see some changes in, and write down the qualities you want to experience, beginning with the words, "I intend ..."

Make sure you express what you want in terms of what you value and in positive language in the present tense. If you have some strategies that would help you to realize your intention, write them down too. Every day, take a few minutes to read your intentions out loud. Then notice what starts to change in your life.

Keep at it and you'll be amazed at how quickly your New Year's resolutions start to become your reality

If you're ready to improve your chances of making your resolutions stick, sign up for our thought-provoking and motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series. Each tip offers unique self-help skills and personal growth techniques designed to help you focus on the things that are most important to you. Sign up today!

And for more great relationship tips, visit our blog:
NewAgeSelfHelp.com

Remember, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice.

 

Neill Gibson is co-author of the PuddleDancer Press booklet What's Making You Angry? He and Beth Banning are the founders of Focused Attention, Inc. They would love to help you learn new communication, relationship, and personal growth skills that will support you in having more fun in your life, and inspire a more conscious, loving and peaceful world.

 

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New Year's Resolutions

 

 

 

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Love is Something You Do ... continued

It's a gift when you reveal yourself nakedly and honestly, at any given moment, for no other purpose than to reveal what's alive in you. Not to blame, criticize, or punish. Just "Here I am, and here is what I would like. This is my vulnerability at this moment." To me, that giving is a manifestation of love.

Another way we give of ourselves is through how we receive another person's message. It's a gift to receive it empathically, connecting with what's alive in them, making no judgment. It's a gift when we try to hear what is alive in the other person and what they would like.

So Nonviolent Communication is just a manifestation of what I understand love to be. In that way it's similar to the Judeo-Christian concepts of "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "Judge not lest you be judged".

It's amazing what happens when we connect with people in this way. This beauty, this power connects us with an energy that I choose to call Beloved Divine Energy--one of the many names for God.

So Nonviolent Communication helps me stay connected with that beautiful Divine Energy within myself and to connect with it in others. It's the closest thing to "love" and to "God" I've ever experienced.

 

Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., is the founder and director of educational services for the Center for Nonviolent Communication. He is the author of the international bestseller, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life and Speak Peace in a World of Conflict, and several other books and booklets.

 

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