"Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. is hands-down one of the best books I’ve read as a
business owner, as well as a husband and father. This book is not a new title, but for me, it does much better than other books at unveiling key principles and practices of exceptional communication. It’s also the first book Satya Nadella asked his leadership team to read, which is meaningful." - Ben Peterson,
What You'll Find in This Month's Newsletter:
September Book Special
We hope you may buy one/some for
family, friends or colleagues...
Effective nonviolent communication skills from the bedroom to the boardroom
In this fully revised second edition, Dr. Dian Killian and Dr. Jane Marantz Connor offer a comprehensive and accessible introductory guide to exploring the concepts, applications, and transformative power of the Nonviolent Communication process. Providing research-based insight into the psychology of
communication, this reference explores the most common barriers to effective communication and provides tangible steps to address these barriers head-on. The book features an expanded selection of relevant, meaningful exercises, role-plays, and activities that give readers the chance to immediately apply the concepts to real-life experiences. With lessons including how to transform negative self-talk into self-empowerment, how to foster trust and collaboration when stakes are high, and how to
defuse anger, enemy images, and other barriers to connection, Connecting Across Differences teaches effective communication skills that get to the root of conflict, pain, and violence peacefully.
"We can smile, breathe, walk, and eat our meals in a way that allows us to be in touch with the abundance of happiness that is available. We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at
living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive. Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
This is Not Your Father's Microsoft
BY Ian Sherr / Connie Guglielmo @
CEO Satya Nadella knew the culture at the world's largest software maker needed a fix. Employees and investors are sold. Now he's got to convince the rest of us...
As the new CEO, he inherited a senior leadership team he describes as a "more like a group of individuals," operating in silos. He asked each to read Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication, a guide to building compassion in businesses and other organizations. He got managers to support one another, rather than snipe at each other. Pitch meetings that were famous for intense grillings became encouragement sessions.
And urged on by employees who want the company to have a social conscience, Nadella and his team took public stands on immigration and privacy, notably supporting Apple in its 2016 fight against the FBI's request to bypass the iPhone's security and calling privacy a human right.
The company also jettisoned the idea that Microsoft knows best. It's now obsessing (Nadella's word) about customers and paying attention to what people are saying about its products.
"Focusing on our customer, focusing on who we are and
understanding that the products and service we build are a reflection of how we work with each other has been really critical to the changes I've seen at this company," says Phil Spencer, a 30-year Microsoft veteran tapped by Nadella to head the Xbox gaming team in March 2014.
"To be beautiful means to be yourself.You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. When you are born a lotus flower, be a beautiful lotus flower,
don't try to be a magnolia flower. If you crave acceptance and recognition and try to change yourself to fit what other people want you to be, you will suffer all your life. True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself, having confidence in yourself."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
How a Few Offhand Remarks Can Cause Your Biggest Problems at Work
By Alexia / Productivity
There is a framework you can use to communicate more clearly with better results, even if it’s a message as seemingly "naggy" as reminding someone to clean up after a meeting. Taking a few cues from nonviolent communication can vastly improve many aspects of your day-to-day experiences with colleagues, and even spread out into other areas of your life.
The Circles Of Life (And Communication)
The daily interactions you have with others typically break down into three different cycles:
The Innermost Circle: Intimate relationships with frequent communication. These are mostly family and friends, but may include co-workers, depending on the level of intimacy you have with them.
The Outermost Circle: People who don't know you and with whom you’ve had one-time interactions, like cashiers at a shop, bus drivers, strangers on the street, etc.
The Middle Circle: Anybody in between, which can include work colleagues, students, parents of your children's friends,
You are constantly interacting with these three circles in fluid ways. Sometimes you’re in two at once. Sometimes the lines between “middle” and “innermost” get blurry. Therefore, any attitude you develop with one will have an indirect impact on how you interact with the others
"We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know."
Nelson Mandella Tribute Article
By Barack Obama
On July 17th, former President Obama delivered the Nelson Mandela Annual Lecture, in Johannesburg, South Africa. The lecture came not long after Donald Trump’s press conference with Vladimir Putin in Helsinki. The talk was Obama’s most extensive reflection so far on the current political climate, though it did not once mention Trump by name. The lecture is edited, but not much.—David Remnick
When my staff told me that I was to deliver a lecture, I thought back to the stuffy old professors in bow ties and tweed, and I wondered if this was one more sign of the stage of life that I’m entering, along with gray hair and slightly failing eyesight. I thought about the fact that my daughters think anything I tell them is a lecture. I thought about
the American press and how they often got frustrated at my long-winded answers at press conferences, when my responses didn’t conform to two-minute sound bites. But given the strange and uncertain times that we are in—and they are strange, and they are uncertain—with each day’s news cycles bringing more head-spinning and disturbing headlines, I thought maybe it would be useful to step back for a moment and try to get some perspective. So, I hope you’ll indulge me, despite the slight chill, as I
spend much of this lecture reflecting on where we’ve been and how we arrived at this present moment, in the hope that it will offer us a roadmap for where we need to go next.
In fact, some Nonviolent Communication trainers say that all needs boil down to one primal need -- a desire for
For most people, experiencing “love” in some form is a crucial human experience. It’s literally linked to our survival (children without love, care or attention do not thrive or, in extreme cases, survive). Love is linked to larger desires for meaning, purpose, caring,
intimacy, happiness, and belonging.
And yet, the words, “I love you,” can in fact be easy to say and sometimes even a throw-away phrase— at times rote, formulaic, or automatic.
For many -- at least where I live in the United States -- “love you” has become interchangeable with “good-bye” when closing a phone call with family or friends.
love you” in such moments is as devoid of meaningful connection as someone saying by rote “thank you,” or “I’m sorry.” What does it really mean?
Thankfully, Nonviolent Communication offers an approach for expressing love in a way that is more likely to connect with other people... and be
more meaningful for us at the same time! To learn more, check out my blog post here →
"The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it."
Practicing the Basics of Nonviolent Communication with the KPFA First Voice Apprentices!
Host Timothy Regan and the 44th group of KPFA Radio Apprentices explore the basics of Nonviolent Communication to create their new team and ... Four years ago, we shared the Kickstarter campaign of a movie focused on NVC parenting and many of your contributed, making it possible for the movie to be completed. Today
we're announcing it's official release! Wrestling Ghosts was inspired byParenting From the Heart, Inbal Kashtan's little jewel of a book, and is dedicated to Inbal's memory. Wrestling Ghosts is an intimate portrait of a young mother, Kim, and her efforts to heal her past in order to show up for her children and herself. Her journey (and the audience's) is one of mindfulness and of moving from judgement to compassion. Kim is supported along the way by NVC coach Joshua Hattaway. Wrestling Ghosts premieres at the LA Film Festival on
Sept. 27th and will screen in the Bay Area on Sept. 29th and 30th. The Director and several of the cast (including Kim and Joshua) will be present at the screenings. Find out more and get tickets HERE. Enter code PuddleDancer to get a 20% discount on ticketsin the Bay Area Screenings!
You Can't Heal What You Can't Feel: Benefits of Nonviolent Communication Across Differences in Health and Wellness
Host Nancy Kahn and guest, Dr. Meg Jordan, a global medicine hunter and chair of the M.A. program in Integrative Health Studies at California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) discuss the benefits of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Across Differences in Health and Wellness. Dr. Jordan is a world-traveled medical
anthropologist, holistic RN, educator and journalist specializing in integrative health and behavioral medicine.
Often, to contribute in the world in the way we want, we must unburden ourselves from the weight of regret and shame over things we have done to harm others and the pain and resulting reactivity that comes when others have hurt us. Host Marlena Willis shares and explores ways that nonviolent communication and
meditation practices can support us in making amends to others and in healing from the harm others have done to us.
Elin Errson - made her literal and symbolic stand, while on a plane carrying an Afghan man being forcibly repatriated.
Dear all, Maybe you have seen, at some point in the
last few days, the recording a young Swedish student - Elin Errson - made of her literal and symbolic stand, while on a plane carrying an Afghan man being forcibly repatriated.
Millions watched it both live and through the recording.
I have found it to be a remarkable demonstration of nonviolent fortitude and perseverance. I have also been inspired by seeing how inspiring it has been to so many more, sustaining ancient but marginalized models for what is experienced as heroism and showing the infinite creativity which which serving life manifests in a rapidly
Both her physicality and her language choices, through a whole sequence of choices made under pressure, exemplify in my eyes, in spirit when not in form, key distinctions that Marshall spoke of again and again..
My hope is that this example, as in so many other cases, some of which we might agree with and some not, none the less inspire action in defense of life wherever we are, with those with us, using whatever is available to us.
Note: There is rumor that this individual (Ismail Khawari) was not on the plane and that another Afghan, a 50+ year old man did, exit the plane. It is rumored that this 50+ year old man was a convicted abuser. In addition, authorities might investigate if Errson had committed a criminal offense by not following
airline regulations, not complying with pilot request for her not to hold the flight. Though we applaud her empathy, love and compassion to be moved to Action, we do not condone abuse, nor potential criminal acts of noncompliance with airline regulation.